I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
you didnt know i had herpes?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
