i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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