i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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