If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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