It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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