so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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