We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
