Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Just cropdusted the office
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
So much rum. So many feels.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize