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I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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