Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
