all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
