I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
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He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
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Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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