Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
