Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
as a side note pls kill me
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