Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
be right there i have to get my cape
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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