You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
