she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
