I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
