Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
