His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Randomize