i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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