No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
