Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
