the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
