we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
