Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
