walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize