are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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