32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
