Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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