I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Dignity is for republicans.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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