Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
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