I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
