WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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