yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
