I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
