No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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