So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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