You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
