i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize