Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
