he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
