if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize