Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
We have started to decorate penises.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
