The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
