I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
