best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
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I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
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Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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