You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I smell stomach acid.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
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