Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
