You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize