Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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