Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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