You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
