mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
he's gonorrhea incarnate
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
