Please, let me fuck your mom
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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