I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
