How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
