so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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