Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
