that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
