You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
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you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
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Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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