So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
