I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
