I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
