Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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