Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
