so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
