I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You have to summon your inner elephant
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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