Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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