After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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