i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
