i think my tv is drunk
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
