just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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