I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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