The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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