apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
