You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
