Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize